Non-Voting = A Vote For Trump AND Clinton Simultaneously?

According to conservatives, anyone who doesn’t vote in this election is actually voting for Hillary Clinton.

According to liberals, a non-vote in this election is actually an additional tally for Donald Trump. Some liberals direct this argument only at disgruntled Bernie Sanders supporters, but others direct this jab at all non-voters.

By this logic, by staying home, a non-voter isn’t casting zero votes for president, but two.

Political tribalism apparently renders math skills obsolete. So let me try to help out a little, as I’m a pretty consistent non-voter.

I refuse to support Trump’s economic nationalism and ethnic isolationism (I believe there’s a word for this collection of beliefs). I refuse to support Clinton, champion of the regulatory state and a foreign policy neocon. I will not condone both candidates’ embrace of cronyism and the surveillance state. I won’t be voting. And my non-vote will add nothing statistically to Trump’s vote count. It will add nothing to Clinton’s vote count. Zero equals zero. Not one. Not two. Zero.

I guess this means I’m throwing a “temper tantrum” and disrespecting all those freedoms the Founding Fathers risked their lives for (which probably didn’t include the right to vote). I’d argue that liberty has no value if you do not have the freedom to follow your conscience. I cannot in good conscience legitimize these candidates, and I cannot legitimize what the Executive Branch has become. If people disagree with my analysis and feel compelled to vote, then they should act accordingly.

Just spare me the lame guilt trips and fuzzy math.

**UPDATE 7/26/16: I’ll add to this list as warranted, but here’s a rundown of political tribalists who are bad at math:

Trevor Noah
Chuck Norris
Barack Obama: “There’s one message I want to deliver to everybody: If you don’t vote, that’s a vote for Trump.”
Michelle Obama
Chris Christie

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